Bad Apple  Bad AppleBad Apple
 Maps Drivel
----------

Artworks

I ate this

Album reviews

Other articles

Lint Age Recyclotron
Screw Off Scramblers

Rehab Failure Records
Out next Thursday

After a wait of literally a number of weeks, SOS release their second album, Lint Age Recyclotron. The disk is already being tipped by those in the know as potentially being as revolutionary as the soundtrack for Transformers: The Movie, and has been compared favourably by one journalist to PJ and Duncan's Psyche.

Clench Warbutton, Tippy Farquar and Clint Noveltybedstead are not members of the band, they are the darts team in my local. The Scramblers, however, are the self-styled middle-management of cool, and the progenitors of the previously obscure uppity tart jam-eating movement. The band uncomfortably straddle the twin scenes of Manchester's underground, and the Cleethorpes Basket Weavers Circle.

The whole album is saturated in syncopated waves of guitar arpeggios forming a wash of luridly rich, choclately melodic, crisp-trousered goodness. Innit. It cannot be doubted that it is as beautiful to behold as a white ceramic penguin, detailed in finest gold-coloured paint, and replete with a capacious hollow back recess designed for toilet brush containment.

The stand-out track is certainly Chip Factory Smell, the harrowing story of flautist Norman Vodafone's fight against his chronic addiction to running up to people with a tin of brown boot polish, saying 'twinge' and falling over, then running away again.

Other strong tracks include the love ballad Stuff it in Your Gob, and Puffins Play Tiddlywink, a raucous hardcore rock track that somehow survives from the age of the guitar dinosaurs. This track took several weeks to record because guitarist Peter Wheeliebin was insistent on using Extra-Strong Mints as plectrums, claiming that their texture was the only way to achieve the specific sound he was after. After several tons of mints had been decimated the band eventually had enough partial chord sequences recorded to be able to edit together a complete guitar track, however by mutual agreement they used one that had been played by Milli Vanilli instead.

Alledgedly.

Mere words cannot do justice to my cliches. Undoubtedly this review is a masterwork of our times. Dunno about the album.

For more information abooht the Cleethorpes Basket Weavers Circle, please contact Mrs F Arse, 42 The Tippet, Chepstow.


Copyright 2001-2011 Tom Waters - goriki@hotmail.com

Bad Apple is not intended for readers under 18 years of age, the elderly and infirm, those of a nervous position, lizards, elks, or employees of Capita.