Great Railway Journeys Number 4

By Mr Matchstick

I just spotted this gem in the current issue of It's the Fucking Television Listings, Alright?

"Fred Dibnah's Fugazi Diaries

"New series in which popular Northern curmudgeon Fred Dibnah is given psychotropic drugs and placed into stressful situations.

"EPISODE 1. On a train that is 6 hours late, Fred is wearing special trousers made out of leeks, which are regularly mocked by a team of hired rowdies. He is pushed over the edge by the seventh time some little cunt's mobile phone plays an excerpt from The Blue Danube with all the charm of a fucking digital alarm clock."

Next week: A naked man with a clear bag of $50 bills tied around his neck handcuffed to a train seat on the subway in the Bronx.